EVERY BODY IS A BIKINI BODY
by Wendy Yang Clark
With summer almost here (feels like it’s been here for awhile 🫠), plenty of little news sharticles are popping up in my various feeds encouraging me to get "bikini ready." Let’s get something straight: there’s no such thing as getting your body bikini ready. All bodies come bikini-ready. If you have a body and a bikini, you’re ready. No diets, detoxes, or drastic workout plans required.
Non-sequitur: I had my eye on a certain television set for years - one that’s supposed to look like art hanging on the wall rather than a big black box. A friend purchased the same set a few months before and loved it, so after I finished a particularly long job, we finally bought one as a reward. The tv is mostly fine (it definitely doesn’t fool anyone into thinking it’s a painting, but it’s sleek and attractive and plays Peppa Pig on repeat for my daughter), but it’s haunted. For some inexplicable reason, the television turns itself on when no one is in the room and exclusively plays digitally remastered reruns of Baywatch. Joey and Chandler’s favorite show, where Pam Anderson, Yasmin Bleeth, and a host of other babes run in slow motion on the beach.
Watching old Baywatch is a trip. The costumes are pretty fab - David Hasselhoff saunters on to the screen to have a heart-to-heart moment with his pre-teen son, wearing a fully denim look consisting of groin-hugging medium wash jeans, and a dark chambray button-front shirt with the sleeves cut off, looking like a clean-cut 90s purse-snatcher. When he’s on the beach, he wears a bright white polo, neatly tucked into his swim trunks. The female lifeguards are flawless in every way, saving lives in full faces of makeup, those famous French-cut red swimsuits showing off their "perfect" beach bodies.
Even the background actors (also known as ‘extras’) fit into a very narrow definition of beauty. Random beach-goers look like Barbie and Ken on the Malibu boardwalk in their neon bikinis, fanny packs, & rollerblades. Baywatch first came out in 1989. Back then, shows like Baywatch showcased a very narrow and unrealistic standard of beauty, promoting thin, muscular, and predominantly white bodies as the ideal. Fast forward to today, and we’re seeing a more inclusive and diverse range of body types in the media. From plus-size models on covers of fashion magazines to TV shows and movies featuring characters of all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities, the media landscape is gradually shifting towards better representation. This change is crucial! When people see a variety of body types and appearances, it helps normalize diversity and reduces the pressure to conform to a single Western standard of beauty. Representing all kinds of bodies in media not only promotes body neutrality but also fosters a more inclusive and accepting society.
Baywatch Beach Beauties, always ready for action
But we’re not there yet. Scrolling through Instagram, most of the content suggested to me is celeb before and afters, with so-called experts (I think they’re mostly nurses in plastic surgeon’s offices?) dissecting photos and pointing out what work the starlet has had done. This content does two things: 1, tears down the celebrity, who is already constantly scrutinized in the public eye, and 2, sends me the message that I should be trying to look just as good as them by getting a little filler, lipo, & a new jawline. Ugh. The worst part is, I’m strangely drawn to it. Before I know it, half an hour has passed, and I’ve seen Angelina Jolie at 16, 32, and 49. I’ve compared Hunger Games era Jennifer Lawrence to her current self, and watched the Olsen twins go from cherubic to hallow-cheeked in a time-lapse reel.
We need less input telling us to strive for perfection and more reminders that our worth isn’t tied to how we look in a bikini or any other piece of clothing. Your body is a vessel that allows you to experience life. Body neutrality means respecting your body for what it can do, not how it looks. It’s normal to have days where you don’t *love* every part of your body. You can still appreciate your body for what it can do and the life it enables you to live. Whether it’s running on the beach (fast, or in slo-mo), playing with your kids, or just lounging in the sun, your body deserves respect and care, regardless of how it looks while doing those things.
Putting on a swimsuit isn't about meeting some arbitrary standard. It’s about enjoying the sun, the sand, and the sea. It’s about feeling the warmth on your skin and the freedom to move. It’s about being as comfortable and confident in your own skin as you can be, no matter your shape or size.
The idea that only a certain body type can wear a bikini is outdated and silly. This summer, let’s ditch the idea of “bikini-ready” and try to embrace a more body-neutral mindset. Every body is a bikini body - even The Hoff would agree.
And if you ever find yourself in my living room, don’t judge if I’m watching Baywatch. I texted my friend with the same tv to ask if her set was also haunted. Her relpy: “Yes!!! What’s up with that? Ours makes us watch 21 Jump Street!”
The Hoff in his double denim magic